In Every Park, One Ride Has To Be The Worst

I hate to bad-mouth such a jolly-looking ride, but Jumpin' Jellyfish takes top spot on our short list of things we'd (still) love to see replaced at DCA.

It has an identity crisis. It's basically a children's ride that looks too intimidating for many kids to want to ride alone. For adults, it's not worth any kind of wait in line. It goes gently up, it comes gently down. You get a nice view for a few moments, and wonder is this all it does? Yes, that's all it does.

The kicker, though, is the seat design. See, there's this knob on each seat that fits between the rider's legs. The seats come to rest inconveniently high off the ground, so you have to do a backwards hop to get aboard. If you happen to be male, and miss the mark slightly...you might find yourself turning green and doubling over before the ride even begins. Fun times.

One of the last untouched holdovers from DCA's opening day, Jumpin' Jellyfish simply takes up too much valuable waterfront space. The same might also be said of its neighbor, Golden Zephyr, but the Zephyr's actually fun to ride. Jumpin' Jellyfish, on the other hand, is the one attraction at DCA I wouldn't recommend to anyone unless there's absolutely no wait--and even then, watch out for those seats!

Photo by Lana Whitham

The Bridge to Paradise Pier

Of the two entry paths to Paradise Pier, the main bridge delivers the most dramatic and fun sense of traveling back in time to an old-fashioned boardwalk. As you pass under the welcome sign, the atmosphere invites you to slow down, enjoy the moment, and pause to watch the coaster launch a few screaming trainloads up its first peak.

Disneyland Resort, due to its compact size, doesn't get a lot of opportunities to play with wide open spaces. Paradise Pier is an exception: it's one of the few spots on property where guests get a good look at an attraction (in this case, California Screamin') from a distance as they approach.

Once considered by many to be the worst idea ever shoehorned into a Disney park, Paradise Pier has blossomed into a charming, relaxing and beautiful corner of the resort. With room still available for another big attraction or two, the Pier's future looks brighter than ever.

Casey at the Bat on Paradise Pier

The Games of the Boardwalk at Paradise Pier are a must-see for animation fans. The attention to detail on each booth is amazing, and my favorite--by far--is themed to the most infamous baseball moment in American folklore.

Casey at the Bat, with its unforgettable tale of tragic arrogance, deserves its place as one of our country's most beloved poems. Disney's adaptation, from the 1946 film Make Mine Music, leans a bit too far toward silliness, but its character designs and art direction are fantastic -- and those features come blazing to life at this amazing booth.

Everything in the design--from the crazed crowd in the stands to the glove-bat-and-ball fan whirling overhead and the white fence along the front--works brilliantly.

Mudville lives and breathes on one tiny, wonderful patch of DCA.

For a look at another Boardwalk game, please see our post on the Bullseye Stallion Stampede.

Screamin' Over Toy Story

Today we have a quick look at California Screamin' looping gracefully over Toy Story Midway Mania. Both rides are technological marvels presented as old-time seashore boardwalk fun.

The combination of old and new, plus the blending of classic amusement park showmanship and Disney's attention to detail makes today's Paradise Pier one of the company's most unusual and thrilling themed lands.

The Weirdest Thing In DCA

At Disney California Adventure, guests encounter many offbeat sights, from a Cadillac Mountain Range to the factory restroom of Monsters, Inc. Inside a Paradise Pier shop called Sideshow Shirts, however, they'll come face to face with the park's strangest inhabitant...

It's this guy. If you've never shopped for souvenirs under the gaze of a gigantic, stooped-over sideshow barker holding up the ceiling...well, here's your chance!

It really is an amazing statue, full of personality. It reminds me of the old Fun House at San Francisco's Playland at the Beach (long gone), which featured a large central room under the watch of giant clown faces hanging from the ceiling.

Paradise Pier once hosted a giant hamburger, a giant orange, a giant test-of-strength game and giant sunglasses on a dinosaur. Our friend the giant Sideshow Barker has managed to--so far--escape the wrecking ball fate of his oversized buddies. In that light, the poor guy almost looks like he's hiding, hoping he's not the next to go. I'll keep my fingers crossed for him; He may be strange, but he certainly is unique, fun and startling in a classic boardwalk kind of way.

From Paradise Pier Hotel to the Park Gates

Yesterday, we covered the pros and cons of staying at the Paradise Pier Hotel. Today, we've got a photo-tour of one important factor most first-time guests ask about: Just how long is the trek from Paradise Pier Hotel to the Parks? Your best bet is to take the shortcut through the Grand Californian. The journey goes like this:

As you exit the Paradise Pier Hotel and turn left, this is what you'll see. That's Disneyland Drive, a public street, on the right. We proceed along the sidewalk to the corner...

Advantages & Quirks of the Paradise Pier Hotel

At Disneyland Resort, the Paradise Pier Hotel has become my family's favorite lodgings choice for several reasons. Price, of course, has a lot to do with it; Paradise Pier is the least expensive of the three Disney-owned hotels in Anaheim, which translates to the least expensive way to get Extra Magic Hour at the parks. Over many visits, however, other factors have endeared this hotel to our group.

I'll be perfectly honest with this recommendation: If you can afford to stay at the Disneyland Hotel or the Grand Californian, by all means go for it. Disneyland Hotel has better theming, grounds, shopping and dining than Paradise Pier. The Grand Californian has superb dining, an awesome lobby that's practically an attraction in itself and incredible convenience with its direct gate into DCA. Both hotels have fancier pool options than Paradise Pier (though Paradise Pier's pool is a shorter walk from the rooms).

If you do choose Paradise Pier, however, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by its many excellent features. Here's a quick rundown of what to expect:

Bullseye Stallion Stampede

Bullseye is one of my very favorite Pixar characters, so I was happy to see him awarded an appropriate DCA mini-attraction of his own in 2009.

Soon after Toy Story Midway Mania opened on Paradise Pier in 2008, the area's midway games underwent a major theme change to add some desperately-needed character elements. The Bullseye Stallion Stampede is one of those games where a prize is awarded each time, and your odds of winning depend on how many other players take part. Rolling a ball into holes on the playing field sends your little 2-D horse advancing across the race track.

The best scenario for this game is for one or two parents to compete alongside their child with no other players present, guaranteeing a plush prize for a reasonable cost. Although "real" world carny games are notoriously stacked against the player, this family-friendly twist can actually be a good entertainment/souvenir deal when all participants are in the same touring group.

Screamin' Around Paradise Bay

California Screamin' barrels around a turn above the waters of Paradise Bay. This end of the massive coaster gets up close and personal with passerby, roaring over the main walkway several times and zipping past the lower observation deck of the Silly Symphony Swings -- which is where we got this view.

Screamin' doesn't tell a story or dazzle with special effects, but it's still an amazing experience -- and nearly as much fun to watch as it is to ride. If I could change one thing about the ride (besides theming the brake run at the end), I'd love to see the shoulder harnesses replaced with simple lap bars someday; I really want to be able to raise my arms all the way up on this thing!

The Swinging Gondolas. One of These Days...

One of these days I'm going to ride a swinging gondola on Mickey's Fun Wheel. And then I'm going to get my head examined.

This is one of the few things at Disneyland Resort I've not yet experienced. Every time I approach the Wheel at DCA's Paradise Pier, I think, "This is it. I'm going to do it." And then I keep right on walking. I prefer to observe the cabins' rocking motions from afar while eating a corn dog.

Seriously, those things are actually equipped with motion-sickness bags. I can handle Tower of Terror and California Screamin' with no problem, but--as someone who gets queasy from repeated rocking and swinging movements--the thought of being locked into an airborne swinging cage for nearly ten minutes fills me with dread.

One of these day, though, I have to give it a shot. Next trip, for sure! Maybe.

Goofy's Sky School: DCA's Ugly Duckling

Clear across the park from the wonders of Cars Land sits the ride that, in many ways, represents the many unfortunate executive decisions that made DCA such a mediocre park in its first years: the wild mouse coaster currently known as Goofy's Sky School.

Before I continue, though, I must confess: I enjoy Goofy's Sky School, because I love good wild mouse coasters, and this one's excellent. I just wish the structure wasn't such an incredible eyesore at close range.

It used to look worse, of course. It used to be be orange and green, fronted with a giant road map and named Mulholland Madness. As Goofy's Sky School, the ride has gained some charm with its whimsical theme (Goofy has turned his failed chicken ranch into a ramshackle flight academy).

DCA's Extinct Dino

The doomed Apatosaurus of Dinosaur Jack's Sunglass Shack peers down at us in a shot from 2008. The ominous sky and the background construction crane are a coincidence; Dinosaur Jack would survive one more year of operation before getting demolished.

A sunglass shop shaped like a prehistoric beast, Dinosaur Jack's was designed as a tribute to some of the wacky roadside architecture of California's past. Long before the much better Route 66 appeared in Cars Land, Paradise Pier had it's own micro Route 66 area -- a version few noticed or admired.

Dino Jack's area companions -- Corn Dog Castle and the Mulholland Madness wild mouse coaster -- were spared the wrecking ball. People still line up for the incredibly delicious corn dogs and the coaster's Goofy re-theme...but no one seems to miss old Dinosaur Jack's goofball sunglass hut.

I'm wondering if that giant pair of shades still exists somewhere...

Toy Story Midway Mania

The lively atmosphere of this loading station sets the mood for a terrific ride; Toy Story Midway Mania provides one of the most intensely entertaining sensory-overload experiences in all of Disneyland Resort.

It's also one of the trickiest rides to board without a hefty wait in line. Unlike its sister attraction in Florida, the DCA Toy Story ride has no Fastpass option. The good news: without Fastpass, the line moves fairly quickly, and an average afternoon wait hovers around the 45 minute mark.

The bad news: that  line remains consistent throughout most of the day. The only way to board quickly is to hurry over to Toy Story first thing in the morning (while everyone else is in Cars Land).

Or, there's Plan B...

Lovin' California Screamin'

Eleven years after Disney California Adventure opened, California Screamin' remains one of the most popular attractions at Disneyland Resort. People tend to fall in love with this ride, for it accomplishes its goal so well, transplanting classic big coaster thrills into the friendly, beautiful, well-run environment of a Disney theme park.

The World Behind World of Color: Dark Paradise Pier

If you've already seen the terrific World of Color at Disney California Adventure, you might want to consider an alternate plan during the next performance: Dark Paradise Pier. It's one of the park's most atmospheric and unexpectedly pleasant surprises. It's also one of the very best times to visit Toy Story Midway Mania.

Phineas & Ferb Keep Summer Alive at DCA

Christmas draws near, but in the world of Phineas & Ferb, every day is summer -- even though they've added a bit of Holiday music to their Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party. Here we see them dancing away their cares (backed by a chorus of helpful Fireside Girls) at the edge of Paradise Pier.

Phineas (in the striped shirt) looks almost frog-like from the front, which is why he's rarely seen from that angle in the TV show. All things considered, however, the characters translate to walk-around costumes surprisingly well.

It's still startling to see these two at first. Aren't they a bit tall to be ten-year-olds? Yes. Yes they are. The performers do such a great job of bringing the stepbrothers to life, however, that children buy into the fantasy instantly, and it only takes slightly longer for the adults in the crowd to get caught up in the fun.

The Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party, which has been a hit since the day it launched, must be an exhausting workout for the characters. I imagine they embrace the cooler days of fall and winter as a welcome relief after dancing through the show several times a day during the blazing heat of summer.

Golden Zephyr: A Relaxing Flight Above Paradise Pier

On your next trip to Disney California Adventure, take a few minutes to enjoy one of the park's original -- and often overlooked -- attractions: The Golden Zephyr in Paradise Pier.

The ride garnered a pile of resentment when DCA first opened, as its simplicity seemed to symbolize the insulting, cost-cutting mindset that clouded the park's early years. The situation's changed, now that DCA can finally boast a solid roster of great attractions; suddenly there's a welcome spot for the Zephyr's basic, old-fashioned charms.

Adam and Andrew of the Disney Hipster Blog noted the ride's connection to England's Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The historic, low-tech atmosphere of Golden Zephyr gives the ride an unexpected bit of depth, as you really are experiencing a sensation from the amusement industry's past.

The ride is a charming, easy-going thrill, swinging you out over the walkway and the waters of Paradise Bay. The views are wonderful, the loading and unloading spiels provide some fun period character acting, and -- simple as it is -- this is a unique form of swing ride that most guests have not experienced before.

I have to admit, I was one of the many who resented Golden Zephyr's simplicity when it first opened. Now, I actually hope it never leaves.

Corn Dog Castle (and Fish Heads & Crumbs)

Word's getting around; Disneyland Resort features the best corn dogs on the planet. They're delicious, crispy, and cooked just right. Disneyland Park sells them from the Little Red Wagon on Main Street, while Disney California Adventure fries them up at Paradise Pier's Corn Dog Castle.

Few seem to mind that Corn Dog Castle retains the deliberately gaudy decor of Paradise Pier's first years. Now that most of the rest of the pier has been made over, the little hold-out looks kind of cute (believe it or not, this billboard's a lot more subtle than the one CD Castle started with!)

There's only one problem: The place does not open until lunch time. My sister caught my brother-in-law (the tall one) and me staring forlornly through the windows, realizing we were too early. No matter how much we stared, the place just wouldn't magically open for breakfast for us. Go figure.

And now, Fish Heads & Crumbs....

Click to Enlarge

King Triton Conquers Paradise Pier

After beginning his theme park career quietly at Disneyland, King Triton has moved on to Disney California Adventure in a big way; he holds the record for getting his face on more DCA attractions than any other character. Somehow, he's managed to take over Paradise Pier!

As seen in the above photo, Triton once reigned over his own jumping fountain garden, making sure the humans visiting his daughter's meet n' greet behaved themselves.

When the grotto was bulldozed to make room for Pixie Hollow, the impressive Triton statue found a new home across the way as the crowning exterior centerpiece of The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Undersea Adventure.

Of course, Triton already had a presence in DCA'a seaside amusement park. He's got his very own sea-creature carousel.

And he guards his daughter's restaurant.

Okay, this one looks a bit freaky and began as an unnamed guardian for Wolfgang Puck's Avalon Cove restaurant.  Now that Ariel's moved in, however, we can only assume it's now supposed to be Triton...or the uncle we never hear about...

And, of course, King Triton also appears in the finale of The Little Mermaid ride.

At any rate, Paradise Pier is certainly well-protected. At this point, maybe Triton Pier would be a better name for the  place! In fact, he could burst out of the waters of Paradise Bay to host World of Color! The place needs a fun backstory...maybe Ariel's dad should simply take over.

Paradise Pier Needs a Clear Backstory

Paradise Pier has come a long way since its dodging-rotten-tomatoes opening. It's actually become a lovely place, especially at night. Image problems, however, continue to dog the land.

It cries out for an easy-to-grasp backstory to lock down its identity. To this day, reporters and well-meaning writers occasionally refer to Paradise Pier as a "carnival." It's not. It's an Amusement Park. There's a big difference in theme, there.