In Every Park, One Ride Has To Be The Worst

I hate to bad-mouth such a jolly-looking ride, but Jumpin' Jellyfish takes top spot on our short list of things we'd (still) love to see replaced at DCA.

It has an identity crisis. It's basically a children's ride that looks too intimidating for many kids to want to ride alone. For adults, it's not worth any kind of wait in line. It goes gently up, it comes gently down. You get a nice view for a few moments, and wonder is this all it does? Yes, that's all it does.

The kicker, though, is the seat design. See, there's this knob on each seat that fits between the rider's legs. The seats come to rest inconveniently high off the ground, so you have to do a backwards hop to get aboard. If you happen to be male, and miss the mark slightly...you might find yourself turning green and doubling over before the ride even begins. Fun times.

One of the last untouched holdovers from DCA's opening day, Jumpin' Jellyfish simply takes up too much valuable waterfront space. The same might also be said of its neighbor, Golden Zephyr, but the Zephyr's actually fun to ride. Jumpin' Jellyfish, on the other hand, is the one attraction at DCA I wouldn't recommend to anyone unless there's absolutely no wait--and even then, watch out for those seats!

Photo by Lana Whitham

The Evil Queen is Watching You

Fantasyland isn't all flying elephants and glass slippers. There's a layer of darkness and shadow lurking about, and thank goodness; without it, the heroes and heroines would have nothing to test themselves against!

Above the entry  to Snow White's Scary Adventures, a pair of red curtains opens every minute or so as the Evil Queen glares out in contempt at the happy crowd below, as she's been doing since the land's remodeling in 1983.

She hates popcorn, mouse ears, California Girls and -- probably most of all -- the dozens of strollers parked on her property.

Rare Characters From 1983's Flights of Fantasy

In a recent post we watched the giant Fantasia brooms march by, and now we're taking a look at some more rarely-seen characters who grabbed the spotlight in Disneyland's 1983 Flights of Fantasy parade. We've got a dozen photos today, starting with the best armored oddballs ever:

 

The Trumpeter, Hippo Knight and Rhino Guards from Robin Hood show up! Check out the rhino on the far right menacing the crowd.

Heffalumps and Woozles. Hide the honey!

Into the Witch's Lair

When the Imagineers remodeled Fantasyland in the early 1980's, they had a clear goal in mind for the new entry to Snow White's Scary Adventures: they made it quite clear to all guests that the ride was not about cheeping birdies and gooseberry pie.

The queue immediately plunges you into the dark depths of the Evil Queen's dungeon at the exact moment she's planning Snow's demise. Her words and evil laughter echo from just around a corner through that stone arch. One gets the creepy feeling she could lunge out at any second. Love that gargoyle; he looks like he's planning to clobber anyone who gets too close.

Below, you can glimpse the book containing the spell for Sleeping Death. Judging by all the strollers parked outside, many parents still think this is a swell ride for toddlers. Go figure.

I was saddened when Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom recently closed its Snow White dark ride. I rode the terrific, original really scary version of that one (two solid minutes of the witch trying to kill riders) before it was remodeled. Florida fans are in for a real treat, however, when the Seven Dwarfs Mine Car roller coaster opens in 2014!