Attraction-Based Movies We'd Like To See (or Not)

With varying degrees of success or failure, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears have all had their turn as motion pictures. There's a Jungle Cruise film brewing, a much-anticipated Mansion reboot in the works, and a Big Thunder TV pilot heading our way.

Is there any ride, show or parade that can't be translated into a movie or TV production?

We think not! Here, for your consideration, Mouse Troop present four pitches for motion pictures based on four park attractions that are crying out for the big screen treatment! Let's start with a sure-fire comedy blockbuster based on a beloved classic that's traveled from Disneyland to Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom...

CAROUSEL OF PROGRESS

In the 1890's, an average American family visits the Chicago World's Fair. After an accidental gift bag swap on the way toward the exit, "Father" brings home what he believes to be a box of "Hoochie Coochie" stereo slides, but it turns out to be an experimental contraption called the Tech-Evolver, which causes the family's household appliances and tools to become more and more advanced with each passing day. At first, the family's delighted at the conveniences bestowed upon them, but--while the household parrot sarcastically squawks, "Progress!"--things soon get out of hand. The appliances become sentient and attempt to enslave the town's citizens. In the end, Rover and Uncle Orville save the day and everyone agrees that--with proper foresight--there's still a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow.

Stormtroopers In Tomorrowland

Just another ordinary afternoon in Disneyland: Popcorn, sunny skies and Stormtroopers.

When Ralph McQuarrie created the first concept paintings to help George Lucas get Star Wars green-lit back in the 70's, I'll bet neither man imagined the designs would eventually become official Disney characters, interacting with guests at the parks.

Stormtroopers can be found invading Tomorrowland's Jedi Training Academy or watching for rebel spies at Star Tours. This guy would probably much rather be across the avenue, playing Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters, but I'm sure he's at least grateful to be standing in the shade.

Photo by Lana Whitham

The Original Star Tours: Best Backstory Ever

The current, reworked version of Star Tours is a remarkable upgrade. The ride's been improved in nearly every way, but I still prefer the original 1987 storyline, which revolved around the Star Tours company itself. The way their shady business practices slowly unfolded during your wait in the queue was absolutely ingenious.

On the surface, Star Tours presented itself as a professional, well-run, safety-conscious travel company which had set up shop in Tomorrowland to offer scenic vacations on Hoth, Tattooine and Endor. As you entered the departure lobby, everything shined, glistened, blinked and flashed with the excitement of adventure and the latest technology. The promo music, the company jingle, the friendly film clip announcer -- it all seemed so inviting and warm.

But, as you proceeded through the line, you began to notice that Star Tours was not quite the company it pretended to be.

Star Trader Shopping: A Tomorrowland Tradition

This animated spacewalking neon Mickey has charmed Tomorrowland night shoppers for decades. With an area overhaul on the drawing boards, now may be a good time to take a fond look at current icons, because -- especially in light of Disney's Lucasfilm purchase -- anything in Tomorrowland could change in the near future. And I have to admit, I've got a soft spot in my heart for The Star Trader shop.

Ten Things To Remember About Star Wars 1977

The purchase of Lucasfilm is one of the smartest, most logical moves Disney's ever made. It's perfect for both parties; George Lucas has found a stable home for his creations and Disney doesn't have to remake the Black Hole in another attempt to break into the sci-fi/fantasy genre.

George Lucas is one of the few artists fortunate enough to watch multiple generations enjoy his work. His younger fans never knew a world without home video and the internet, while his older audience remembers drive-in movies and double features.

For those too young to have seen Star Wars hit pop culture with a meteor-like smash of imagination, special effects and fun-for-the-sake-of-fun exuberance, there may be a few details about its impact they’re not aware of…moments many of us older fans might have forgotten. Here are just ten points I can remember. If you were there, does any of this bring back memories?

Strange Things: Great Offbeat Disney Music

In case yesterday's Big Lucasfilm Purchase News made you wanna dance, we're featuring some of the more oddball, unusual, but ultimately engaging tracks of Disney Music to be found on iTunes and Amazon. 

Seriously, no one needs another straightforward elevator music version of Whole New World...no, we're having more fun than that...

Track:  BEAUTY & THE BEAST
Album: Disney Themes: Flamenco Style

Imagine Beast circling Belle with a rose stem between his teeth. I don't think I need to say another word.

Track:  HUMPHREY HOP (In the Bag)
Album: House of Mouse

Some official Disney releases are off-the-rails enough to make this list, like Ranger Woodlore's litter-picking song that tricks Humphrey Bear & co. into performing unpaid labor. It's impossible not to dance while listening. Actually, every Disney Music fan should have this entire soundtrack in their library, even though it's a wee bit overpriced on iTunes.
 

Track:   DISNEY DELIGHTS
Album: The Box and Banjo Band at the Movies

An accordion/banjo combo swings their way through I Wanna Be Like You, Hi-Ho and  Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah. Pure happiness. Careful: this band's addictive. Also check out their amazing Hans Christian Andersen medley.

Track:  WHEN I SEE AN ELEPHANT FLY
Album: Let's Dance the Jive

Graham Dalby is an English Bandleader focusing on keeping Jazz Age Swing Music alive, and for that reason alone, he should be made King of Planet Earth.

That'll do it for this dose of great Disney music...OH, WAIT...in light of the recent news, I can't resist one more track that's not really very obscure....

Track:  STAR WARS/CANTINA BAND (12" DISCO MIX)
Album: The Best of Meco

HAPPY STAR WARS, EVERYONE!!! If you want to party to the full 16 minute long version of this 70's smash, you'll have to buy the whole album, but -- hey -- Disco Close Encounters and Disco Oz are included...