Timon and Pumbaa Bring Park Safety to iPhone

Here's a nice little freebie that popped up recently: Disney's taken those funny little Timon and Pumbaa safety signs from the park security stations and turned them into an iPhone app.

Wild About Safety presents the signage as a light-hearted little safety course. It takes you through about 16 tips--some animated, some not--with voice overs.

The art's unfortunately rather low-res, but it still looks great on a phone screen. No word on the home site about an Android version, but I wouldn't be surprised to see one turn up soon.

Top Five Favorite Safety Spiels

Who says safety can't be fun? In addition to informational signage, most Disney attractions feature audio warnings to discourage riders from doing incredibly stupid things such as standing up and/or sticking their legs out of a moving vehicle.

Fortunately, Disney injects a lot of character and humor into their audio safety spiels. Some, such as "Hang on to them hats and glasses" and "The spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated" have become classics. I'm not including those most famous lines on this list; Consider them forever enshrined in the Great Ride Warnings Hall of Fame.

Although four of these five come from my "home" parks (Disneyland & DCA), the top prize goes to a Walt Disney World ride I haven't even experienced yet! I have Internet Radio and YouTube to thank for my exposure to the joys of WDW attraction audio!

Here we go! Oh--and be sure to remain seated and...well, you know the drill...

TOP FIVE FAVORITE SAFETY SPIELS!

5) Snow White's Scary Adventures as spoken by the Wicked Witch:

"Looking for Snow White, Deary? Then SIT STILL!"

4) Mr. Toad's Wild Ride as spoken by Ratty:

"Welcome to Toad Hall! To be sure of a safe and glorious drive in your motorcar, remain firmly seated with your hands, arms, feet and legs inside. Watch your children--and do try to drive more carefully than Toad."

3) Radiator Springs Racers as spoken by Sheriff over the car radio:

"All right. You be sure to remain seated with your seat belt buckled! Don't make me come after you. Sheriff out."

2) California Screamin' as spoken by The Barker

"Second thoughts? TOO LATE! Head back! Face forward! And hold on like ya mean it! And away you go in five, four, three, two, ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And, here we are: My current favorite ride safety audio:

Video by wdwfacts1

1) TriceraTop Spin as spoken by Chester:

"Hey, spinners! It's Chester here, reminding you for your safety ta stay seated with that seatbelt fastened good n' tight as you spin. Whilst yer spinning, keep your hands, arms, feet and legs inside--and be sure to watch your children."

It's the "whilst yer spinning" part that busts me up and crowns this as number one. I haven't been to Dino-Rama in person yet, and I had mixed feelings about the area's concept--until I heard this awesome performance that tells me all I need to know about the land's backstory in one simple, great delivery of a safety warning. Suddenly, I really, really like Chester and Hester. Dino-Rama has become a must-see for me.

What are your current favorites? Do you find the ever-present safety spiels annoying, or is Disney doing a good job of working the warnings into the story?

Alice in Safety Land

The Alice in Wonderland ride's awful-looking safety railings and camouflage tarps have been uglifying the attraction's exterior since their unfortunate installment in 2010. The good -- very good -- news is that the fences are due to be replaced by a (hopefully) classier-looking alternative sometime in 2013.

This used to be a bright, open, whimsical fantasy garden with a graceful vine-path winding about overhead.

It's sad to realize most first-time visitors assume the fencing and tarps have always been there.

For 2010 reactions and a video of how gross the railings look on-ride, click Here.

To see how amazing this ride looked without the fencing, click Here.

Can't wait for remodel, which is also rumored to include several upgrades to the ride's interior! At least one of our crew is rooting for the Walrus and the Carpenter to get a scene this time.

Alice in Wonderland remains one of Disneyland's best rides. Fingers crossed that the exterior will soon look more like its wonderful, spectacular old self!

Alice In Wonderland - Before the Safety Fence

Alice in Wonderland is a Disneyland treasure, and my favorite black-light dark ride.

This photo was taken a couple of years ago, before the safety fencing was added to the upper outdoor section of track. The meandering downhill vine-path used to provide a visual thrill, as the caterpillar cars would seem to be heading right off the edge of the track before turning in another direction. It was like a gentle wild-mouse ride.

The dark ride portions are still great, but the safety fence has muted the visual fun of the outdoor descent. The good news: the outdoor track's about to get a major overhaul including a new, permanent re-work of the fencing. Hopefully, the new look will blend the fence more naturally into the whimsical setting and bring more fun back to the outdoor track.

One more pre-fence view, this one from 1994: